Government Experts Agree! Ketchup IS a vegetable

Last night I dreamed I weighed 191 pounds. No shit. I looked down at the scale and it said 191.
Not being able to take my evening walks, lift more than 5 pounds, or do a bloody thing is making me crazier. even my dreams are weirder than ever.
Plus: I am at the mercy of a hormonal, crazed, genius teenage girl. Karma SUCKS.

Today I get to drive for the first time since the surgery. Woo Hoo. Have an appointment with my shrink and then it’s time for some grocery shopping.
I am only afraid that some asshat will hit me, rip loose the internal stitches, and I’ll hemorrhage to death in a pile of twisted metal, Jeep parts, organic cereal and Soy Milk.

Yes, life’s last kick in the tuchus. To die amongst wreckage which indicates a vegetarian lifestyle. Told you that the kid makes me berserk.

Leslie is coming by to have lunch today. Yesterday she told me that my husband (station joke) gave his resignation. My husband was the head of News.
Don’t care. I still want my job back.

Actually I want any job. I’ll be eating the Government Cheese soon. Wonder if that crap is fattening. Do I get a subsidy of Ketchup so we’ll have vegetables as well?

Assuming I’m not kicked to the curb by today’s installment of Rachael’s Excellent Adventure (Party On Dudes!) I’ll attempt a visit to the library.

This is probably not in the cards for today, but always aim high say I.

~The Ever-Plumper Miss R

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