Isn’t It Ironic (or satiric depending on your IQ)

I‘m feeling almost human this afternoon. Don’t tell anyone but I snuck out to the living room, lifted the key cover on the upright, and played 100 Years by Five for Fighting. Twice in a row.

A nice simple song, nothing strenuous. As opposed to knocking out A Strenuous Life by Scott Joplin which is strenuous. Well not until the second movement, but yeah then it is.

Took a rest and then snuck out again (shhhhhhh) to play and sing Late by Ben Folds.
I. Am. Going. Ber. Serk.

The phone just rang.
“Is Mrs. Robinson at home?”
“No there is NO Mrs. Robinson here, for the TENTH time this week.”
“Are you the owner of this home?”
“No. I’m the renter of this hovel”.
Dead silence. I snickered and hung up.

Whoever it is will call tomorrow and then
“Is Mrs. Robinson at home?”
“Yes! How did you know? Have my exes been gossiping again?”

I caught a lot of good-natured ribbing from friends over the last year and a half. Due to some weird aligning of the planets it seemed that various and colorful dates who had been in and out of my life were generally somewhere between 5 to 15 years younger than myself. Go figure.

Chris, the last guy I dated (we went out maybe half a dozen times) was 30. So for the duration of that diversion Leslie and the guys at work would ask if Ashton Kushner had sent any more flowers or called. Fuckers.

Not really.I love to be teased by those who are intelligent enough to see the amusing side of a situation. To make the distinction between being humorous with a point instead of mean-spirited with a point.

There’s a saying:
Small minds discuss people.
minds discuss events.
minds discuss ideas.

This is not to say that I have a great mind. That’s obvious. Still….
Discussing People?Having been the object of gossip, usually untrue, I keep this type of discourse to a minimum. I am a keeper of other people’s secrets.
Discussing events? Well events of an artistic/cultural or scientific nature yes. The nightly news or alleged Entertainment news? No. I may discuss their implications but do not talk about the events themselves. News items may however cause me to feel.
Discussing Ideas? Yeah I love it. Virtually anything can spawn an idea. The inspiration for this blog came from a comment made by my friend Matt. We were talking about sarcasm and he mentioned that Ironic by Alanis Morrisette has a lot of lines in it that are not really ironic.

That set me to thinking (oh god NO!) about
The difference between ironic and sarcastic.

As a geek you either learn to be funny or to make yourself invisible.
Happily there is a way to incorporate both of these alternatives.

By making light of a situation or presenting something in a humorous manner we are able to deflect others from looking directly at us.
I truly believe that being an ironic or sarcastic person is a direct result of insecurity.

So ultimately we oddballs hope to be viewed as funny, which is acceptable, instead of who we really are, which is insecure and hopefully iconoclastic.

For years I’ve been told that I’m funny. I prefer ironic or even better facetious. It’s just that many folks have to run for the dictionary to look up facetious. Takes too long the make the point then.

Funny is an appellation normally bestowed by those with limited intellect or vocabulary. Or, too much to drink that night.

I’ve always felt myself an outsider. You know, one of the kids who were shunned in school for being too smart, too fat, too weird, and too dark. I relate to others who have outlooks and experiences similar to my own. Everyone does this. It follows that my closest friends are also witty, wry and facetious as well. Outsiders.

If we make others laugh then hopefully they will see us as the fat funny one, the smart funny one, the different funny one.

Dammit as usual my tangent has spawned what should be another blog. So on to the point!

Miss R’s Dictionary presents the following simple definitions:

Sarcasm: a reaction to or observation of an event
Irony: an actual event

Being sarcastic can be a result of irony. Normally it will be a rather barbed reaction, hopefully amusing and not hurtful. Many times it’s both though.

As for Alanis (remember her from about four paragraphs ago?):
The poor woman hasn’t the faintest clue about irony. Or sarcasm.

To wit:
Rain on your wedding day?
That’s not ironic. It’s just bad planning if you’ve rented the local park for your reception.

10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife?
No irony here kids. It would be ironic if you needed the knife, only had the spoons, and THEN received the goddamned knife as a wedding present.
The next day.
That would be ironic.

If you take a look at this essay you will notice I’ve happily assimilated my points by being sarcastic in regards to irony.

My job here is done.

If you didn’t see the point of this piece then I can only point out the obvious conclusion: You suffer from an Irony Deficiency.

~Miss R

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