Economics, SSD and Late Night Ranting

In one of my insomniac-let’s-write-inappropriate-and-overtly-personal-shit moods. So here’s a rag on Social Security Disability, Taxes, The Last Ex-Husband and The Kitchen Sink.
Now with more Whiny Goodness!
Cabin Fever Games, Crystal Lake MI

Montage: my Cabin Fever Michigan location. Note the Demon Seed enjoying her latte. She’s all of 12 years old here. Love it.

Spent the afternoon filling out paperwork for Social Security Disability. What a pain in the ass. How the hell am I supposed to remember every incident going back 15 years? Especially since I’ve only been sober a little over 10 of them.
If you know me up-close and personal you’ll know why I’m filing. If my claim is approved I’ll just tell people that I’m retired. Or an eccentric billionaire.

Our current Social Security system is a mess and doomed to take a header. Everybody agrees on that. Chris Prince offers a fine essay on the problems and some solutions on how to fix it. I concur with him. His ideas lay on the liberal side of the political spectrum. My god when did liberal become a nasty word? Maybe about the time conservative went the same way after infiltration of the Christian right. I find politics and politicians as distasteful as Americans of the 1800’s did. This country’s party ideology and divisions were just as polarized then. Look, there are good arguments on both sides of the political spectrum.

I also VOTE every election. Otherwise I’ve no right to bitch and can’t help plan the revolution. 

Of course the entire Social Security system is only going to get worse and the odds of any Social Security Retirement Benefits being extant in 20 years are nil. Forget about Disability.

If I am eventually granted benefits the payments are going to be enough to pay rent on the current place. Sadly there will be no money left for groceries or school supplies. I’m planning on selling the kid to the gypsies (should have done this years ago while I still could have gotten a good price. You try getting rid of a teenager) AND giving away the cat so I can eat HER food.
For 10 years I was running my own business and for 5 years playing the piano. Hence for 15 years I didn’t have the money to pay into the Social Security machine. So my benefits are at poverty level. this despite the 20 years I DID pay in, some years making a six figure income.
There is not enough money to pay into the government programs if you’re a self-employed American. Not unless you’re making a hell of a lot more than I did.
I have never received:
welfare, food stamps, subsidies to pay my utility bills or rent. I’ve never received alimony or child support. All those years I had no insurance and all medical expense were paid out of pocket and not from Medicaid.
Paid more than my share of taxes and have worked since I was 14 and put myself through college.
Excuse the bitterness but what the hell kind of system encourages people to go for the American Dream and then screws them without any lube? I started a fine Capitalistic business with the stated purpose of helping out the Trickle down Economic Theory. Bush Sr. was in office back then. This train of thought was all the rage ‘ya know.

What is this called? What kind of Economics? Anybody? Anybody?
Something -doo Economics. VooDoo economics.

Work for yourself! Become a Success! Do it Baby it’s a fair platform for everybody. Here’s the Real Deal….
There are no programs anymore to help small businesses. Not anymore and not for a long long time. Not if you’re male, female, black, white, nothing.
IF you work 14 hour days and after 5 years are running at a profit, you’ve beaten the odds calculated by the Small Business Administration.
So now you’re able to hire employees and take off a day or two each week.
You pay wages. You shell out payroll tax. You pay an accountant and lame-ass bookkeeper.
You get older but in order to cover medical expenses, the mortgage, the child, blah blah blah you only make an okay living. When tax time comes you’re taxed at 30% being a Sole Proprietor.

Wait. It gets better!
*She says switching from 3rd Person to 1st Person*
indicating severe agitation and frustration

My gross was under 250K so there were NO LOOPHOLES such as those enjoyed by such illustrious firms as Enron or Halliburton or Arthur Andersen. So I took it in the tush every tax time.

After 15 years you’re older, wiser, jaded, had some fun and some tears and met some great people too but can’t seem to expand any more. You DO know how to run a business though. From the ground up.
Then suddenly retirement looms in 20 years, your kid’s potential college education scares the hell out of you, and of course the body begins to require intermittent repairs. Think 5 year old car beginning to show some signs of wear. Check out The Health Care Blog for stats on the uninsured self-employed fodder in our society.
So you pack it in to try again in a bigger population and demographic. More money and a chance to add a bit more to that friggin IRA. We all know that caca happens though.

So you get a REAL JOB (icky!) for the first time in 15 years. Not too bad. A serious drop in income but oh the perks! Insurance! A 401K! Creativity! No employees! No psychotic customers! Only a psychotic teenager. Not a bad trade. Depressing but manageable.
What happened though? The promises of our childhood dream of self-sufficiency if you work hard? Of course we all know it’s crap but being a dreamer I kept working on it.
How many of you are doing the same thing? Being a dreamer is a tough business. About as masochistic as being a retailer. I still carry this trait in business and love. With the same results in both.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Okay I’m ALMOST done ragging on the government.

Naturally I contemplate about how much is my own responsibility. Much as I’d love to blame the government and society for my current situation that would be total bullshit. Next thing you know I’d be out in the shed writing my Manifesto.
Where did I go wrong?

WARNING: Approaching Tangent in Window
is Larger than it Appears!

Besides the psycho abusive husband that took me who took me to the cleaners during the last 10 years and in the divorce? Ugh. Ultimately that was my fault too. I married the prick. It took me 8 years to find the courage to leave. Am pretty sure I only married him because he had a huge schlong. Sadly the blood flow to operate the thing drained it all from his brain leaving only the anger portion functioning. In my defense I’d only been sober a few months. I was sick. I really do think that taking the path less traveled (by sane people) was a large factor.
I did warn you.

So now I that need some help (which is so depressing that I cannot begin to express it) all of the years that I DID pay into the government coffers seem to be for nada. Hell I worked for The Man for over 10 years in the Finance Industry. Kicked ass as an Entrepreneur and paid the state and feds in exorbitant taxes. Helped people whenever I could. Never dipped into the welfare system. It gets me a poke in the eye with a blunt stick. Well, I did get this blog. And this T-Shirt. And this lamp, so I don’t need anything else.

To sum up:
a. Starting your own business and working hard does not necessarily get you ahead.
b. Never marry a guy with a big dick, walnut-sized brain and anger issues
c. Love your kid even when she drives you up a wall. You love her and she loves you. no matter what.
d. Try not to file for Disability if you’ve already succumbed
to a. and b. listed above

e. The government is not your friend. They’re mean bastards.
f. Never blog after midnight
g. This year is going to be way better and I’ll keep dreaming the good dreams
h. The white zone is for loading and unloading only.

“Is that a candy bar in your pocket or are you happy to see me”
and that’s still
~Miss R
To you.

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