I Was Possessed! THE SHOCKING TRUE STORY!

First off I must apologize for yesterday’s kinder gentler blog.Seems my naturally caustic musings made yesterday’s writings appear like “a lecture from mom”.  This is a direct quote. Thanks R, you wench.

I vehemently denied this nasty accusation hurled at my writings. Until I re-read the fucker this morning and realized it was true.

Had I unknowingly been a victim of alien abduction?

Demonic possession?

Voodoo?

 

Clearly it was not Rachael in the writer’s body yesterday.

This also explains my findings upon awakening:

the shocking memory gap, coffee ALREADY made and vomitously unpalatable, a Panic! At The Disco record on the turntable and worst of all…. A new pair of shoes with NO SPIKE HEELS.

What could possibly explain the blog, the heels, and all the rest?

Momentarily disoriented the thought occurred that maybe I was married again. Holy God! So I checked the ring finger and it was devoid of jewelry or indentation. A massive sigh of relief could be heard all the way to Verdi.

Then I thought “hmmmm aliens!” We ARE in Nevada. Dismissed this thought upon realizing that I could sit on my little ass with no discomfort. It wasn’t aliens.

The demonic thing doesn’t make sense because I know a demon when I see one, and I see one every day. She refuses to leave until she’s 18.

 

That left voodoo.  Hell why not.

Anyway, feeling befuddled helped gear me up for  my first ‘walk’ in 6 weeks. To keep myself from overdoing things I purposely steered clear of my favorite routes.

It’s impossible to believe, but I tend to push myself too hard. In everything.

I knew that if the endorphins kicked in my ass would be out and walking hard for 30 minutes. Today’s goal was 10 minutes. It sucked. Not the walk. The time limit.

The sun was out! Too bad it was 39 friggin degrees, but to make up for this I had the iPod fully loaded and a good pair of shoes on.

There were some unexpected sights on this previously unexplored side of the neighborhood.

A classic red Stingray. On the street naked and un-garaged! It was early in the morning so the owner appears to park it there all of the time.

I noticed a lot more 1940’s homes in the blocks immediately surrounding our building. One of them had a red porch and black trim on the shutters. Guess they were going for some kind of faux-Asian look. Yo neighbor: If you’re reading this it doesn’t work. It IS bizarre though. I enjoyed it.

There is a 15MPH school zone around here so I could still outpace the traffic on Arlington and that was pretty nifty.

About the time I had to turn around and go back I was feeling better. I miss my walks. Depressingly my calves strained after only 10 minutes and my heart rate had only just gotten to the desired level.

Going without my walks or exercise has been wreaking havoc with the rest of my body. Six weeks after the surgery I still feel crappy so I started small this morning.

My legs still look hot though.

  

At least I know something:

I’m gonna make myself a doll, get me some gris gris and hit back the Witch Doctor that forced my dark streak into abeyance yesterday. That bastard.

Happily the only thing possessing me today is a warm feeling of misanthropy and joy.

I’m the girl your mama always warned you about.

Pretty soon I’ll be able to strut right up and show you.

 

~Miss R

  

Currently Listening:

X&Y

Coldplay

  

3 thoughts on “I Was Possessed! THE SHOCKING TRUE STORY!

  1. It’s hard to tell from your brief note but if you do have missing memory and other disturbing mental episodes you might have exposure from visual Subliminal Distraction.

    Has the problem gotten worse? Were you just writing the story for entertainment?

    If you have a serious problem visit my site and start with the psychology demonstration page.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Bell Helmets Bmx

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