Kiss That Frog

Rachael’s Guide To Cold Weather Romance

If you’re a regular reader (do NOT make me go to the irregular joke) you know my amazing and stellar history with men.

I hear you all say
“Rachael how do you do it? You’re a dude magnet!”
Oh sure most of those dudes are sociopaths or latent creeps,
but I still manage to confound my girlfriends.

I have more offers for dates than a Moroccan grocery store.
Okay not really.


Still, it seems I’ve been asked on more dates in my 40’s than I was in my 20’s which is just freaky wrong.
These days gravity has had it’s way with me and as I like to say…. at least something has.

So why should you accept my Guide as Gospel?
‘Cause I’ve made all of the mistakes for you!

Here we go….

1. Do NOT invite a date to pick you up at your house.  I have a daughter, and I’ve no intention of anyone meeting her unless there is a serious chance at a long-term friendship or relationship.

2. Do NOT stay out past 11:00 if you have a teenager. I may be a whack-job, but I’ll be damned if I provide a negative example for my daughter. Let her become a whack-job on her own time.

3. DO spend time on the phone first with a potential date. Went out with a guy recently who must have spent hours crafting emails to me. When we met at the coffee house he was virtually inarticulate. Ugh.

4. ALWAYS offer to pay for your half of the bill. As a girl I find this important. There really are dirtbags out there who feel that a dinner out, or a double capp dry with skim, entitles them to some slap and tickle.

5. I’ve mentioned this before but will reiterate it: Try not to sleep with a date until you know them as a person.  As a forty-something I’ve learned over the years that sex without emotional attachment is demeaning and depressing. Don’t go there. I don’t. Not that I haven’t been tempted on a few occassions. Hey I’m human.

6. Do NOT send emails after 11:00 PM. OOPS. That’s a note to myself. Nothing good comes of thoughts that cannot be shared during daylight hours -shudder-.

7. AVOID out-of-the-blue come-ons from people on myspace. Yeah it sounds like a no-brainer but we’ve all probably succumbed once.


Here’s the Good Stuff about Cold Weather Romance and the Reason To Be A Hopeless Foolish Romantic

1. It’s cold outside. Mmmmm there’s nothing better than cuddling on the couch under a blanket. Okay there’s ONE thing better but since you’re over 40 one of you, if not both, has kids. So the couch thing works before you put the beloved ankle-biters to bed. As if you couldn’t stay on the couch and….you get the idea.

2. Enjoying and cooking a meal together. Summer is over and it’s safe to use the kitchen again without melting into a puddle. Oh my god it would be sinful to cook in your PJs with a lover. Testing and tasting and feeding morsels to one another. Yummy.

3. Big Sweaters! I miss having a boyfriend when it’s cold outside. There’s nothing like the teenage thrill of being felt up in public. No one can ever tell if your boyfriend’s hand wanders up into your chest under that behemoth sweater.

4. Hot showers. Together. It’s not the same in the summer. Too hot. That’s what the damned lake is for.

5. Collapsing into bed together exhausted after a day of skiing. You’re both wired and tired and share a real bond from the rush of adrenaline and probable stupid-ass maneuvers as well.
Note: I love skiing with my daughter, and do so one day every week, just us. We will always do this.  I do miss having a man to share a day of skiing with as well though.

6. The Holidays. Those two words pretty much  sum it up.

There you have it. Life kicks my ass and sometimes I just want to hide and let it roll over me. Then a spark catches me unaware.

It could be the sight of snow on the mountains.

A single leaf blowing in the street.

My daughter’s laughter.

A shared joke with a friend.     

A beautiful piece of music or writing.

You never know what can inspire you.
Beauty. Nature. Laughter. Thoughts. Love.

I remain a silly romantic and as with other portions of life I will keep doing the best I can.


You don’t have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince or princess. You just have to drink a lot of Starbucks.

Good luck with your own romantic wishes and life.
Wish me luck with mine.

Most importantly don’t forget to stay foolish and hopeful.
There’s a lot to be said for never growing up.

~Miss R

Currently listening:
Look Sharp!
By: Joe Jackson

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