Miss R presents….. The Myspace Winner in our Most Depressing Song at the Holidays Contest!

Miss R presents…..

The 2006 Myspace Winner of our
Most Depressing Song at the Holidays Contest!

Hannukah, Yule and Christmas Greetings to All. Dammit.
I don’t actually know anyone who celebrates Kwanzaa so you’re on your own with that.

Well I’ve got to say that after my last blog there were a lot of entries for our Holiday Contest. The previous Only-Partially-Tongue-in-Cheek essay was replete with references to garden hoses and autos, razor blades, and dark mountain drives. You know, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

So again here’s my original list and at the bottom we have the Best Picks from Miss R’s Blog Readers.

This was fun and cheered me immeasurably. Without further ado….

My Original “Music to Take A Dirt Nap By” Playlist

Everybody Hurts REM
You Had a Bad Day Daniel Powter
Wise Up Aimee Mann
Love Will Save Us All Jeff Austin Black
Boston Augustana
Keep Me In Your Heart Warren Zevon
Please Call Me Baby Tom Waits
Save Me Aimee Mann
Mad World Gary Joules version (by Tears for Fears)
Late Ben Folds
Brick Ben Folds
It’s Not Your Fault New Found Glory
Wouldn’t Mama Be Proud Elliot Smith
Bird on a wire Leonard Cohen
You Belong to Me Carly Simon
Angel Sarah McLachlan
The Scientist Coldplay
Trouble Elliot Smith version (by Cat Stevens)
Hurt Johnny Cash version (by NIN)
What Sara Said Death Cab For Cutie
Pink Floyd Wish you were here
Volcano Damien Rice

The Winning Entry for 2006 is

Fairytale of New York City -The Pogues
submitted by KOD

I picked this one because it’s not well known and it is amazingly powerful. Well that and the divination process. I could only get so many live chickens to ritually kill and prognosticate with though. Do you know what a lost art reading entrails is these days?
My stupid neighbors are whiners by the way.

Best Submissions!

Fairytale of New York City -The Pogues submitted by Kevin O’Donnell aka KOD
Bonnie and Clyde –Tori Amos submitted by Dave
The End -the Doors submitted by Abear
Alone in Kyoto – Air submitted by Pierre (nice nom de plume)
2000 Miles -The Pretenders
Heartbreak Beat -Psychedelic Furs submitted by Catie
Merry Christmas Darling -the Carpenters (Honorable Mention)
Boomtown -David and David (Honorable mention)
Medication –Garbage (Honorable mention)
On the run -pink floyd (Honorable Mention)
Asylum -supertramp (Honorable Mention)
Black -pearl jam (Honorable Mention and this got votes from 4 different readers!)
River -Joni Mitchell (Honorable Mention)
The River -Bruce Springsteen (Honorable Mention)

Believe it or not there were somewhere around 25 separate entries. You didn’t even know that this was a contest did ya? That makes two of us. It also makes this an exceptionally illegal contest, what with no disclaimers. Shhhhhh there’s a chance that someone with no sense of humor is reading this.

The Winner Receives my undying gratitiude, appreciation, obedience and a chance at the Grand Prize… A NEW CAR!
not really. was just channeling Monty Hall there for a second.

Well I’m feeling a bit better the last two days. I having to look at the bright side:

a) The house will be clean for two full weeks since Cate will be in California.

b) No tree to take down with the 3 hours spent dusting ornaments and carefully wrapping them before putting ’em back in the boxes. (I miss decorating the tree though)

c) No gifts to purchase. Okay I would except that I am now less than a paycheck from living on the streets. It kind of follows that there will be no presents. Or pasts.

d) I have been spending time with a very dear and interesting friend ~TK who has turned me on to some great music this week. Did I mention that he drinks? There is now an amazing new array of tunes in the house.

e) Woo Hoo no picking up after my daughter for two weeks. Yeah it’s mentioned twice. What about it?

f) I put a minimal but festive Holiday display on the piano. I like it. It’s cheery.

g) Seems as if Dr. Haveasquishy’s new cocktail may be working. Hard to tell yet. It would be nice to avoid visiting the Home for Higher Cognitive Learning over the holidays. The food would be okay but how many baskets can you weave? I mean really?

So far this morning I’ve oiled and polished my hip 1930’s dining table, polished the piano, set up my tiny Christmas/Hanukkah decorations (ugh winding tiny strands of white lights through garland is a pain in the tuchus), made a pot of coffee, washed the crystal candle holders and replaced the candles, wiped down the kitchen floor, discussed peace in the Middle East with Lizzie Borden (she’s our cat so stop looking at me that way) but dismissed her suggestion to call upon Chairman Meow, and written this fine little piece. If only it were a true manic episode I could lose some goddamned weight.

Guys get so excited when I tell them I’m bi…. until they realize it’s bi polar.

One more thing that has kept me sane (that term being relative in this friggin’ household) has been the recitation of the Serenity Prayer followed by my favorite Dorothy Parker poem.

Have a splendid weekend and let me know if you’ll need any baskets woven between now and New Years.

Sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here

Resume by Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.

 

 

Yours in a Heathen Holiday Dream

 

 

~Miss R

Currently Listening To:
New York Rock & Soul Revue: Live At The Beacon
By: The New York Rock and Soul Revue
Release date: 29 October, 1991

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