A Survey for Procrastinators

The No Lying Survey
–gee as opposed to an “I’m lying about every single question” survey. This is the first one of these I’ve filled out in months, so I’m clearly procrastinating on the day’s agenda—

7. last beverage: coffee
6. last phone call: mom
4. last cd played: full CD? Storytelling: Belle and Sebastian
3. last BUBBLE bath: about a month ago
2. last time you cried: yesterday
1. last meal: full meal? Chicken and Pasta ala TK

SIX HAVE YOU’S:

6. have you ever dated someone twice? yes
5. have you ever been cheated on?: yes
4. have you ever kissed someone & regretted it?: hell yeah
3. have you ever lost someone?: yes
2. have you ever been depressed?: oh no not me
1. have you ever been drunk and threw up? you betcha

SIX things you did in the past three days:

1. Went to school: duh. no
2. Went to work: duh. no
3. Kissed someone: yes

4. Watched a movie: yes.. an Eddie Izzard DVD
5. Got drunk: no
6. Slept: yes

list TWO things you want to do before you die –

1. watch my daughter graduate from college
2. fall in love and have that man love me as well

In the past month did you…

Make one new friend: yes
Laughed until you cried: yes
Went behind your parents back: no

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT:

1. Bush? The President: cretin. Mine: fabulous

2. Gay Marriage? Affirmative. Everyone should suffer equally under the law

3. Lowering the drinking age?: NO

4. Straight, Gay, Bi?: Mongo Straight

5. Who are the best hugger(s) that you know?: my daughter

6. Do you believe in love at first sight: love no. lust yes.

7. Is there something you want to tell someone? yes

8. What brand of shirt are you wearing? Ummm no shirt. Just got out of bed.

9. What were you doing last night? Figuring out how to pay the dentist after having a crown break off, hanging out with my daughter, daydreaming

10. Name something you CANNOT wait to do? Well It’s not skiing so that leaves only one possibility

11. Last time you saw your father? Thanksgiving

12. What’s your favorite tv show? 60 Seconds to Disaster

13. Which hand do you like better? Not ‘who’s hand’?

14. What are you listening to right now? Damien Rice

15. Have you ever talked to Tom? What would possess me to do that

16. Have you ever donated money to a good cause? yes every chance I can

17. Have you ever talked about someone behind their back? sadly yes

18. What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from anyone? Omg. It’s been years

19. Who’s getting on your nerves right now? who’s not

20. Most visited web page? Fark.com

21. Coke or Pepsi?: neither. Coffee

22. Do you have a crush?: always

23. Do you like food?: No I hate it. That’s why I’m 10 pounds curvier than you are

24. Do you disagree with a lot of things going on in the world? Of course not! we’re one big happy freaking family. shoot to kill.

25. Do you think there’s some models/people out there that should gain a couple pounds?: Nice grammar -*sigh*. Of course. Everyone should be heavier than I am and all women should have smaller tits than mine.

26. Do you enjoy your friendship with your friends?: wtf?

27. Are you still friends w/ your exes? Yes, with the exception of Lucky Ex-Husband Number Two

28. Would you date an ex again? yes

29. Single or Taken? single

30. Happy about it? not particularly but i’m fucking used to it.

2 thoughts on “A Survey for Procrastinators

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