I used to be disgusted but now I try to be amused.

Character defects are something everyone has in abundance.
Well except for me of course. -cue laughter from backstage-

Am attempting to incorporate three salient points, as opposed to Salinger points, into today’s musings and meditations

Never confuse boredom with serenity (Easy)
Never confuse drama with human interaction (VERY Difficult)
Never play cards with a cheating cat (Impossible)

Speaking of peculiar behavior (which is a specialty in these here parts) it was time for the monthly chat with Dr. Haveasquishy.
Sadly it’s a bitch to be honest with someone you don’t respect. Hell, I have a problem vocalizing feelings, terrors and thoughts to people I DO respect for fear that my less than brilliant contemplations will offend them and propel them screaming into the night.
We did have a decent session today and I was as honest as I’ve ever been with him.
Progress not perfection.
Am still suicidal and not yet homicidal so I need more couch time. Nothing like being the progeny of a psychiatrist AND growing up in L.A.
Nobody walks in L.A.
They all have therapists though.

Okay here’s what I learned this week:

1. If I am going to re-wire the end of an extension cord the white wire is the common, black is hot and green is ground. I don’t HAVE to use the green either.
2. Never dwell on a hurt or slight whether real or imagined. Mention it immediately and see if you’re being obsessive, overly sensitive or you’re right.
3. Raleys on Mayberry hires every tard in Old Southwest Reno. Surreal.
4. I’d forgotten how talented the singers of Manhattan Transfer were
5. A hub and a switch work differently. A computer on a switch runs faster (albeit imperceptibly) because packets traveling through a hub have to determine if the different computers connected to it actually receive that particular packet of information
6. The first dinosaur bone discovered in America was found in West Virginia and when presented in a scientific paper promptly ignored. The bone was given to a museum and promptly lost.
7. Experience is something you don’t get until just AFTER you fucking need it
8. Master of the House from Les Miserables is evilly tenacious and will not release your brain. UNLESS someone puts on Overkill by Men at Work which will immediately fuck you off with it’s insidious tune and lyrics.
9. Discontinuing a medication which has been in your system for 12 years without weaning down the dosage slowly puts your body into severe physiological and psychological withdrawl.
nausea, uncontrollable weeping, dizziness, stomach cramps, vertigo, inability to concentrate and it just gets better!
Especially Effexor. Especially if you have not had organic chemistry since college and are not a doctor.
10. My Work is maintaining a tan for the benefit of all mankind
11. I need new business cards made up:

Rachael C. Black
Exectutive Ne’er Do Well

12. All the tinfoil in the world will not keep my whack-ass client from contacting me. if only he was a real client. If only I had not lost all of the tinfoil to lizzie in that poker game last weekend.
13. Lizzie Borden cheats at poker. This with no opposable thumbs. Bitch.
14. A teenager forgives pretty quickly and will begin to say I Love You again.
15. Do not walk behind me, for I will only lead into temptation. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.
16. If you have to lose sleep, don’t do it alone
17. No matter what happens, there is always someone ready to tell you that it happened according to his/her pet theory.
Rachael’s Corollary I: No matter what happens, there is always someone ready to misinterpret what it means. A few times it’s been me.
18. Directly spraying kitchen ants with Clorox does NOT kill the bastards
19. Stephen Hawking can’t swim for shit
20. My mother saves every goddamned picture she ever took and today I find that I had a super fine do in 1985 -yark-

Yours in Suicidal Ideation and Non Sequiturs,

~The Still Fabulously Deranged Miss R


Dammit I forgot one. Thanks TK

21.
if you’re hungry eat

if you’re thirsty drink
if you’re happy dance
If you’re tired… watch court tv 

Currently listening:
Living In Oblivion : The 80’s Greatest Hits, Vol. 1
By: Various Artists
Release date: 23 March, 1993

4 thoughts on “I used to be disgusted but now I try to be amused.

  1. I enjoy your particular brand of humor/derangement, as well as your giant Tawny Kitaen hairdo.

    And good job putting Stephen Hawking in his place. That so-and-so needs brought down a notch. I mean, sure he’s the world’s greatest genius, but the only thing worse than his backstroke is his arm-wrestling ability. I bet his fadeaway jumper needs work, too. The loser.

    Like

  2. I know this is old, & I’d probably left a comment before, but this:

    3. Raleys on Mayberry hires every tard in Old Southwest Reno. Surreal.

    If this is true, it’s good to know I can slip right into work after I arrive. Just gotta get outta Seattle.

    Like

  3. Angus babe!
    good to hear from you.
    you found Yoyodyne!

    Where are we going?
    Planet 10!
    When are we going?
    Real soon!

    Ya Raleys on Mayberry does hire every tard in Reno. Literally.
    There are other avenues of occupation though.
    No. Really.
    Not Raley.

    Like

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