Sunday Morning

Here’s a pic that Cate took of me in Salem last week.

Now I’m sure there are several of you saying
“Shouldn’t that say Bitch History Museum?”
and you could be right.

Then again, I could already be a $10,000,000 winner too.

Is it Sunday?
Yeah it must be.
Life has become a day by day buffet line of mundane tasks, introspection, occasional bouts of work, a certain amount of fear and a dollop of laughter.

Today is far better than yesterday. I didn’t leave the house until 3:00 yesterday afternoon and that was only to do some shopping and pick up a few DVDs at Blockbuster.
Fell asleep watching Zodiac last night and woke up this morning to the Main Menu screen of the DVD playing the same repeating track of music.
Over and over and over.

Spending life alone sucks.
Sleeping alone sucks.
Many things suck.
Except for me right now; see above.

Am trying to back off the cigarettes, and get back on the fucking Commit lozenges.
Dammit. I started smoking again a few months ago. The man I was with told me I looked sexy with a cigarette.

Now I’m hooked on the fuckers again after 10 years without them.
Of course it IS cheaper to smoke than be on the Commit.
I got your rationalization right here baby.

So today I’ve been outside.
Yes it was to have a smoke with my coffee. I did have a Commit upon waking up though.

As you can see there is real progress already.

Got an email from John on Friday afternoon which spurred me out of inactivity and isolation, so I actually left the house that evening. Misery loves company and we’re both miserable fuckers. In a healthy sarcastic and mean-spirited way of course. Besides, he lets me pine over TK and I listen to him to muse and talk about Annie.

Remembered something too; After realizing I’d be out and about I wore a big-ass diamond on my ring finger that night. I don’t want anyone (or anything; this is Reno after all) hitting on me these days.
John sees it and starts cracking up. He knows why I have it on.

Anyway, we started out as a group of three but one member had already been drinking for 24 hours and was incoherent by the time I arrived at our meeting place.
He was pretty sure he’d been fired from his IT job, which is what precipitated his inebriation. John took him back to his apartment and poured him into his bed after an hour or so.
After that we talked, walked, ranted, and had a damned fine cheese burger as well.
Thank you my friend.
Came home by midnight and got into bed. My demons exercised good manners and did not wake me up for a visit until 4:30 a.m.
Stupid brain.

Last night I was at home as usual. Sitting here with a club soda, half a pack of smokes and a copy of The Illusionist and Zodiac to watch.

This is the last weekend of Hot August Nights, which is a big brouhaha here in Reno and a yearly excuse for a lot of aged 50+ people to parade their restored classic cars, gamble, and drink their way through downtown.

I’ll be home this evening and away from the crowds.
Maybe Lizzie wants to play a few hands of poker.
If only I can keep her out of my smokes.

~Miss R

Currently listening:
Little Shop Of Horrors: Original Cast Album (1982 Off-Broadway Cast)
By: Alan Menken
Release date: 25 August, 1992

One thought on “Sunday Morning

  1. Good luck kicking the cigarette habit and finding a man.

    They say habitual smoking is often caused by oral fixation. Finding the right thing to suck on could therefore kill both of your birds with one stone.


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