Happy Birthday Cate

So this morning I’m waiting for someone to come and take a look at the Jeep.
They wanted to come by at 8:00 am, then 9:00 am and they just called and will be here by 9:30 am.

Hey. I’m busy here you know? Sheets and towels to wash, cats to comb (as opposed to a catsacomb), regrets to obsess on, noon meetings to attend and exercise to put off until the last possible hour.

Wish I’d had time to vacuum the damned car out. And hose it down. Oh well, at least it did get washed last week. I rarely drive the damned thing but here at “Rachael’s My Parking Lot Is Deteriorating and Turning Back into Dirt Faster Than Your Parking Lot” the dust and debris accumulate quickly.

Today is also Cate’s Birthday. Day before yesterday I wrote that it was um, yesterday but it WAS late at the time. Since I was in labor 29 hours does that count towards forgetting what day it is?
Just so you know: Today is August 17, 2007
Set your watches accordingly.

Below is a picture of Cate and I at Winterfest while we were living in our little cottage on Crystal Lake in Michigan. She had just won that goofy hat in a raffle. Later that evening my ex-husband showed up unannounced to make sure I was not with another man, stalking me as was his forte. I moved to Reno in the following months to escape.
Have not heard from the husband in almost two years, Cate still has the hat, and I am still here in Reno.

I placed a comment on her myspace account and will call her in another few hours. If she is not at work today she WILL sleep in.
This is the pits. I miss her. Lots. More than life itself.
Woke up with tears streaming down my face.

Tried to pull it together after that and made coffee, went outside for a smoke (only had one yesterday; well okay I did consume a half box of Commit instead), and spoke a full sentence to the neighbor who was also out back in Little Tijuana for his morning smoke.
He’s from Columbia I think, so I understand only about every other word he says.
We just nodded and smiled and looked at the fucking broken ladder, abandoned tire and weed growth.
Wow. Four years of college and a full resume gets you far.
Life been berry berry good to me.

Am still waiting to hear from SSA on the disability. For three days I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get through on the phone. It is always busy. Always. What the hell.
I’ve a sinking feeling that one full afternoon next week will be spent hanging out down at the SSA office, number in hand with the rest of the disabled masses, to find out what the hell is going on. In another month or so it will be a full year since I originally applied.
Fascist Scum-Sucking Bureaucratic Swine.
Oh wait that’s my parents.

Honestly I’m trying to do anything I can to keep from thinking about my daughter. Hence the laundry today, a noon meeting, and a trip to get at least one of my pairs of glasses fixed.
Do you have any idea how difficult it is to keep the fuckers on your head when they have only one arm? No? Well it is AND you look like a retard as well.
Now you know.
Suppose I could wear contacts today but in the words of my darling daughter… “Oh God Mom put your glasses back on. You look so OLD without them.”
Wait. I miss her …why?

Seems there is too much to do in the next few days. Tonight is the Greek Festival (heh heh she said Greek) and tomorrow the yard sale. I’ve a ton of work to accomplish for Tinfoil Hat Client as he has actually forked over some cash. Luckily he is a whacko because I’m incapable of concentrating for long period of time anymore.
Some days I wish I could go back to a real job. Insurance would be good. A steady paycheck would be good. A full frontal lobotomy would be better but without the insurance, well, you know how medical costs are these days.
In a pinch I’m pretty sure one of my ex-husbands would be willing to take on the operation for free though.

~miss r

Currently listening:
The Dresden Dolls
By: The Dresden Dolls
Release date: 27 April, 2004

One thought on “Happy Birthday Cate

  1. Hey, Miss R. Sorry to hear you miss your daughter so much, but remember that she’s thinking of you, also. I hope you got a chance to talk to her and you’re feeling a bit better because of it.

    I also hope Cate had a happy birthday.



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