It’s not even 10:00 am on Sunday morning and Tinfoil AssHat Client Guy has called three times. This is after he was a no show yesterday. Not that I had any plans but hell, sitting around the house all day waiting for a hoped-for meeting (translation: PAYCHECK) was a thorough waste of time.
I no longer believe that I’m the craziest person in or around Reno. For sheer paranoia and non-linear thought you just can’t beat Tinfoil AssHat Client Guy.
Although you’d want to.
His rant du jour at 8:30 a.m. this morning started out like this….
“Hey Rach I need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay, by the way where were you yesterday? You said you’d be here.” I say rather groggily.
“Well I’ve been busy thinking about something. I know that you have some very strong feelings on politics.”
“Yeah, all politicians are corrupt scum-sucking bastard thieves.” I say.
He continues without missing a beat because he doesn’t really care about what I think “I have a friend who’s very deep in the intelligence community (I’m already rolling my eyes) and the content we’ll be uploading to the site may make you angry. I want to make sure that you’ll stay on board and won’t bail.”
“I know you’ll be voting for Hillary along with all of those other dopes. I was in the newspaper business for years and have always been objective and don’t take sides.”
“Uh huh.” I repeat while looking for a ballpoint pen in order to poke my eardrums out.
“You just watch. The closer the elections get the more you’ll hear the News Media start to talk about the Red states. I watch six or seven news stations all of the time and not one of them has a Republican on for an interview or comments. All I see is friggin Hillary and other Democrats. The Media has linked Republicans with Red, like Communists. You notice every time you see a map with a Communist country they’re always red?”
“Uh huh.” Resistance is futile with this guy.
“I served in two branches of the military. When people elect representatives then they should go ahead with what those representatives decide. We can’t pull out of a situation with the job half done. Did you know there are two governing bodies? The congress and the senate and blah blah blah.”
“The Media has forced the American public to think of Blue with Democrats. Blue is a soothing color and Red is for Communists. This is crap!”
I can’t take it anymore and hear myself saying “Hey, the color associations have been around since the 1800’s, along with the donkey and elephant designations. The contemporary news media has nothing to do with this.”
There is a millisecond of silence and then he says “Yes blue is for Republicans.”
“No” I can’t shut up. “Red has always been associated with the Republican Party.”
“So I need to know if anything that gets put on the website will offend you. I have a lot of touchy facts and it’s going to scare a lot people.”
Did I mention that he doesn’t care what I think?
He did say he’ll be here on Wednesday.
I’m scared already.
By: The Jeff Lorber Fusion