One Eccentric Dies Every Three Seconds.
You can make a Difference!
Why send money to Africa or Latin America and adopt a child who will never see you or really give a shit?
There are deserving people right here in Reno Nevada who need your help!
Every day another Eccentric is pushed from their home and winds up on the street. It’s sad isn’t it. A life wasted. A worthess college degree, musical talent, and the darkest and most absurd sarcasm on the planet snuffed out like a candle.
But you can help.
That’s right, for only a dollar a day you can help save a local person from a life of petty crime, poverty and all of those gross fucking flies.
When you adopt Rachael here’s what you’ll Receive:
A picture of your adopted Eccentric (please send additional $50.00 for a ‘special’ picture)
A hand-written letter from Rachael thanking you for your generosity and incredible altruistic foresight
A Designated Driver for all of those society functions you attend
A Lifetime supply of dark twisted jokes and observations
An Obsessive Compulsive Streak guaranteeing you a clean spotless home
100% of your donation goes directly to your Eccentric!
Time is running out. Won’t you please help?
Without concerned people such as you this Eccentric will wind up on the streets in a matter of two weeks.
Can you really live with yourself knowing that this Flower of Gentility and Erudition is living under the bridge off of 4th Street?
Make a difference! Give to the Adopt An Eccentric Fund today and see Rachael’s eyes light up and shine again.
May Flying Spaghetti Monster Bless you and Hold you with His Noodly Goodness.
Morph the Cat
By: Donald Fagen
Release date: 14 March, 2006
(not for much longer though because the power is going to be shut off)