Adopt an Eccentric!

One Eccentric Dies Every Three Seconds.
You can make a Difference!

Why send money to Africa or Latin America and adopt a child who will never see you or really give a shit?
There are deserving people right here in Reno Nevada who need your help!

Every day another Eccentric is pushed from their home and winds up on the street. It’s sad isn’t it. A life wasted. A worthess college degree, musical talent, and the darkest and most absurd sarcasm on the planet snuffed out like a candle.
But you can help.

That’s right, for only a dollar a day you can help save a local person from a life of petty crime, poverty and all of those gross fucking flies.

When you adopt Rachael here’s what you’ll Receive:

A picture of your adopted Eccentric (please send additional $50.00 for a ‘special’ picture)
A hand-written letter from Rachael thanking you for your generosity and incredible altruistic foresight
A Designated Driver for all of those society functions you attend
A Lifetime supply of dark twisted jokes and observations
An Obsessive Compulsive Streak guaranteeing you a clean spotless home

100% of your donation goes directly to your Eccentric!

Time is running out. Won’t you please help?
Without concerned people such as you this Eccentric will wind up on the streets in a matter of two weeks.
Can you really live with yourself knowing that this Flower of Gentility and Erudition is living under the bridge off of 4th Street?

Make a difference! Give to the Adopt An Eccentric Fund today and see Rachael’s eyes light up and shine again.
With hope.

May Flying Spaghetti Monster Bless you and Hold you with His Noodly Goodness.

Currently listening:
Morph the Cat
By: Donald Fagen
Release date: 14 March, 2006

(not for much longer though because the power is going to be shut off)

5 thoughts on “Adopt an Eccentric!

  1. hey my dear. Nevada law is much stricter than Cali.
    Frop what I can discover (thanks Google) I will get a Notice after 5 days (which will be oddly enough the 5th). then I have another 30 days to quit.
    At 35 days the doors are padlocked by the sheriff and I am officially out on my ass.
    Sans furniture, synths, sheet music, manuscripts, Fiestaware, collectible figures, horror comics/mags etc.
    There you have it.

    Like

  2. Well I’m speechless. I mean, I could offer you my guest bedroom as I’m paying (ironically) approximately seven hundred extra a month for it…But I see that you need to be near your daughter.

    I even have a Korg Triton for you to play. Top of the line, baby!

    I don’t know what else to say. What can you say when someone tells you’re they’re getting evicted? (Well, except suggesting work at the bunny ranch but…I won’t go there lol)

    Like

  3. yes I am close to the bunny ranch. sadly i’m thinking that my age precludes me from employment there no matter how fine my skills are in giving head. dumbing down my resume wouldn’t even matter though. cool!

    max thanks for the offer! Nice keyboard too. I worked for Roland in the early 90’s but had friends at Korg and of course love their keyboards as well.
    have accumulated some cash to send to the landlords by selling a few more pieces of personal property. not all of it yet.

    gah what a pain.

    on the positive side my father is going to pay the phone/internet bill this month as my birthday present.

    Like

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