Atkins for Alkies: Part Deux

Dresden Dolls... MY Alcoholic Friends

Atkins for Alkies and
My Alcoholic Friends

So I just found out that my favorite snack was FULL of carbs. Sugar Free popsicles.
THOSE BASTARDS.
These were the generic type. The REAL Popsicle brand has more.

The ‘Atkins’ special ice cream bars –labeled exactly that way by Bryers- have 9 carbs.
Bad. Bad Carbs.
Do not allow a neurotic bi (polar) woman on a diet and expect anything but a strict and obsessive adherence to said regimen.

I’d say that this is the reason I haven’t been losing weight for 2 days. The popsicles. But it’s probably the thirteen grains of rice and 6 refried beans that I got at the Mexican restaurant Saturday.
Bastards wouldn’t just give me the meat and separate the carb portion on to my companion’s plate.

So just for YOU. My Alcoholic Friends. Is a way to absolve yourselves. And feel better about the 2 days you go without booze.
Wait 2 days? Didn’t I say three days in the first post?
Oh well.

Anyway for your perusal and enjoyment… carbs in your favorite Tasty Beverage. Cheers!

We’ll start with a Reno fave…

GIN:
Serving: a shot
Calories: 110
Carbs: 0

BEER:

Serving: A bottle
Calories: 150
Fat: 0
Carbs: 15 G (waaaah)

WINE:

Serving: 3.5 oz (WTF there are only 4 glasses in a bottle)
Calories: 70
Carbs: 2 G

RUM:

Serving: A shot
Calories: 100
Carbs: 0 (this is weird because it’s so sweet)

Seems the worst is beer. Sad because there are so many homemade and craft beers available these days.

So my fatty friends all I can tell you is to give up the seemingly great sugar free popsicles and take up alcoholism. Not only will you lose weight faster but hell, you won’t even remember not eating.
It’s okay. Thank me when you hit that AA meeting. In your Size 2 dress.

Look for tomorrow’s Blog:
‘How I quit smoking for 12 years, then started, and need to get off the F**king Commit Lozenges. Again’

~Miss R

2 thoughts on “Atkins for Alkies: Part Deux

  1. I’m allergic to alcohol. 😦 I made it up with a strict exercise regimen.
    5-10 laps in the jacuzzi
    I walk to the fridge instead of having someone get food for me.
    I order a big gulp diet Coke instead of a big gulp Coke.

    Like

  2. Obviously you know how to diet. I was advised of my allergy to alcohol on December 29th 1996. When people began to ask me why I wasn’t drinking anymore I’d tell them I was allergic.
    ‘Well what do you mean?’ they’d say. ‘what happens to you?’
    I replied that I break out…. in sluttiness.
    Time for that Fresca.

    Like

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