25 Random Facts

Kennard Ouija Board 1890. In my collection

I blame Celluloid Blonde for this. She posted the idea first.

Back in the day (April 23 2007 at 1:37 p.m. I believe) we used to go back and forth with the ‘surveys’ and other idiocy culled from MySpace and Facebook. Because we’re just that funny. And lacking in social life.

These type of questionnaires, surveys and diatribes can rise above the narcissistic. To the amusing, strange or hopefully ‘Oh dear god you can do that legally? And physically?’

In no particular order here are 25 random damn things about me.

1.    Pizza is a gateway drug

2.    THEY took my womb

3.    Cats dig me

4.    Dogs dig me and I want them all to get the fuck away

5.    Living alone is dangerous

6.    Living with another person is dangerous… to them

7.    I could live on escargot, veal, steak tartar and lobster. Guess PETA is gonna reject that applcation.

8.    I detest Joni Mitchel, Bob Dylan, and virtually all Metal music

9.    I’ve been forced to play all of these at one point or another because I’m a musician

10. My daughter is way hipper, intelligent, funnier and disturbed than your daughter

11. Lizzie Borden is the name of our kitty

12. My left foot and left boob are bigger than the right

13. Wearing a pair of 6” stiletto platforms makes me 5’8” tall. Take that Max aka Celluloid Blonde.

14. The 1920’s are the decade I would have wished to have spent my 20’s in.

15. Spending my 20’s, during the 1980’s was pretty cool. I was a punk before you were a punk

16. I shed. More than the cat. Fucking long curly hair.

17. Small children agitate me. Especially yours

18. Have a collection of Ouija and Talking boards that is one of the most extensive and rare in the world. Fuck baseball cards.

19. Don’t believe in ghosts, aliens or fair divorce judges

20. My favorite nail polish color is black. Matches my heart.

21. My boobs stick out farther than my belly so I’m proportioned correctly

22. Southern gothic writers are my favorite read. Two exceptions: Christopher Moore and Carl Hiassenare are NOT southern gothic but I live for their newest releases.

23. Found out that my sister is only my half-sister. When I was 45. No wonder I detest her -and her fake tits.

24. I’m the idiot that makes you stop at every rest stop on a trip to go pee

25. Still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up

Tune in Tomorrow for 25 Random Lies

5 thoughts on “25 Random Facts

  1. Pingback: 25 Random Facts « Ahmnodt Heare for President

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