Gimp-o-Rama

stephen hawking that dumbass

Nice try Stephen. I’ll still kick your ass.

Sorry that the posts have been sparse. The surgery was far more intense (read: fucking painful as hell) than I’d imagined.

Sitting here with a cup of coffee and my medication is about all I can accomplish before getting my aching back and body into bed and the oh so lovely surgical corset. Gotta say, this corset is a sex magnet for every paraplegic for miles. Given the two large general hospitals and VA hospital close to the house, leaving the confines of the porch would be dangerous.

This post is really is a note to let you kids know the surgery went well. Also a note to all of you wanna-be writers and the hurdles you think are facing you.

This blog is brought to you by a  two-hour spinal surgery, two hung-over surgeons, a six-inch incision  across/through the abdomen, two walkers (one of which I’ve painted black with flames and skulls and shit (that slacker Hawking has GOT to agree to that race now. Yellow bastard)  two types of Oxycontin 3x a day, 10 mg of Valium 2x a day and of course my morning nurse…Ms. Espresso Double-Shot (she hyphenates her last name).

More later. Assuming I can find the laptop again. Where’s that bell? Hey Double-Shot it’s time for my sponge bath!

~Miss R

9 thoughts on “Gimp-o-Rama

  1. You seem to be in good spirits – or you’re putting on a brave face for your readers – or you’re drunk/high/drunk&high.

    And you’re walkers sound badasssssss – kick Hawking’s ass, he’s totally got it comin!

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  2. Many thanks for the encouragement on kicking that poseur Hawkings’ ass. Clearly you are yourself a genius.
    Sadly the medication is, oddy enough, medicinal and not recreational. Therefore I’m not buzzed or stoned. Feel free to send anything that you feel may help cure this hell I call sobriety. By the way, if you happen to have any straight edge razor blades please send them with the recreational drugs.

    The brave face?
    Well, who the hell wants to read a whiny blog about pain and surgery? Heck,you can get that by calling grandma. Even illiterates have the luxury of hearing about hip replacements and gout.

    I’m only hanging around until the perfect suicide note comes to me. Been working on it for years. Am making progress but it’s till not up to my little black-hearted standards.
    Will let you know.
    Oh wait…

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  3. Hell yeah I already had to pay for it. Going to decorate the damned thing for Burning Man this year. Between my Hawking Slap-Down flame and skulll walker -which I’ve got a friend willing to modify and (hpefully) motorize, and the corset I’ll be rocking the playa.

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  4. Glad to see you are up and around. Or at least down and out. Whichever the case may be.

    Get well and I look forward to your future posts. 🙂

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    • Thank you kindly.
      Sadly It appears that the drugs are taking their toll now. I’ve gone from 100 words a minute typing to about 5. Between fixing typos and grammar it’s pretty obvious that brain damage has destroyed my twisted yet fabulously gelatinous brain.
      Probable Causes
      1. Obscenely low oxygen level in hospital -hooked up 24/7 for 5 days. Am told this is fairly normal! HA! Really I haven’t seem THEIR medical degree (well okay one of them)
      2. Not enough Morphine and Oxy.

      I can’t write anymore. Have already spent over a hour on this reply. Hee-Haw is almost on. That’s how roll now.
      On my walker
      d

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