Have decided to attempt an activity which may help revive and give life some slight meaning. It requires a skill set that I used to be paid for. Most times handsomely and regularly. Occasionally totally stiffed on.
Goddamned web illiterate cheap bastard loser pointless mind-changing private clients.
Due to my current physical condition, depression and attention span; which is currently less than Lizzie Borden’s (my cat who is too inbred to kill anything) this project will take at least 10x longer than the good old days. Which is why it has nothing to do with commerce either. That and a true inability to work or concentrate. Good god look there. A piece of lint on the floor! Oops sorry. Remember kids: OCD and Genius are only a tiny portion on the list of crazy that inhabit this body.
Dammit. Just remembered that the salt and pepper shakers need to be aligned on the kitchen counter as well.
Said project is a new website. Yep, used to write code, design sites, piss off clients and a huge media corporation without being fired due to a sick sense of humor, and do all the SEO as well. At one point worked as a Web Mistress for Warner Brothers before eventually moving to an Executive Producer. Then worked for private clients.
Prior to that I created, wrote the witty and catchy copy, designed graphics, leaned new codes and Flash, helped write, BETA test and used a new shopping cart software, and learned it all on my own. Remember GeoCities and a book entitled ‘HTML for Dummies?’ What the hell did I know except business, finance, music and a devout hatred, and exhaustion, of corporate culture?
Learned it all beginning in 1995 to have an e-commerce portion of Cabin Fever; the retail store(s) I owned, worked and succeeded at for 10 years.
The new site will involve a certain subject which is interesting, amusing, and in the past generated loads of emails. Most of them unintentionally hysterical. Of course the best (read ‘worst’) were culled and posted. I replied in the normal way. You know… totally slamming the writer without them realizing it. Loads of laughter ensued. From visitors who read that page of the site, but myself… of course.
That’s all I’ll say for now. Got the domain name and hosting taken care of today. Some fucktard took my old domain name during the 4 years the entire site has been down. Most of the pages for the portion which is being resurrected (It’s a miracle! Praise Flying Spaghetti Monster!) have been lost/destroyed/stolen by Ancient Astronauts and innocent victims of computer crashes.
Let’s see if it can be done shall we? And thank Mom for giving me an early birthday gift of the money to purchase the hosting package.
Betting Pool starts today. Sign up with your local bookie. Or better yet, I’ll hold your money using an escrow type of situation. For legal purposes we’ll refer to it as the lingerie drawer.