Orgies for Abstinence

And now an Important Message from the Candidate for the Rest of Us. You know… with brains. Ahmnodt Heare!

 

Ahmnodt Heare for President

The United States have historically fought wars for peace. It must be working because we have been doing it for years. It is in this spirit that I believe we should promote abstinence through orgies.

Certain events prevented me from planning the last two “Orgies for Abstinence”, which could explain why they went so well.  I am back and want this to be the best ever!  Official “Orgies for Abstinence” events are held twice a year:

  • The first Friday after Easter – This assures that all those who had chosen to give up abstinence for Lent to participate.  (April 13 is the Friday after Easter in 2012.)
  • Election Night – This is an activity that allows Americans what it is like to be a politician.

I am a firm believer in abstinence.  The government has been saying that the “War on Drugs” has been working and that wars in the…

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19 thoughts on “Orgies for Abstinence

  1. Thank you for your hard work for the campaign. I will be in the mountains in the east next weekend helping out in their “Condoms for Cousins” campaign. If they have extra condoms, I can send some your way.

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