A Pictorial Guide to Why I Live For Burning Man. NSFW

Yes, there IS a wine named after yours truly

So I was lucky enough to be gifted a ticket this year. It’s a testament to being kind to others, always be there to help anyone who needs it, friend or stranger, and follow the Ten Principles. Thank god nothing like the 12 Steps.

Here are a few of my fave shots from the past 8 years.

black rock city sign

Critical Tits 2008

Critical Tits

Only a small part of the experience. The rest can only be described as Disneyland for Adults. Clean and Sober or X and Other. Eat your heart out El Guapo heh. Left my naked bar dances out.

Bliss Dance

Bliss Dance: Best most beautiful, musical and lovely piece on the playa last year

oops ater bindage demo

Ah, forgot the PS on this one. Just finished being the ‘demo’ for our Japanese Rope Bondage Class

Burning Band

Burning Band Buds: Moi, DavidΒ  Silverton of Tubatron fame (also an exec producer for The Simpsons for 20 years) and Birdsong from the New Orleans Jazz band Pair ‘o Dice.

Ancient Solemn Atheist Rain Dance

Ancient Solemn Atheist Rain Dance

Burning Man 2011

The Man burns on Saturday night. It can be seen from space and arrangements are made each year with the NSA to indicate this

37 thoughts on “A Pictorial Guide to Why I Live For Burning Man. NSFW

    • thanks Tony, and yes it has always cracked me up that the short form of Burning Man is Bm heh heh, Sorry, What ls with the Beaviss and Butthead references? Never even followed that show.
      BTW this is nothing. for some really beautiful pictures of at installations (and Burning Band playing a ton d of venues from marriages to dedications to art installations) you’ll have to check out my FB page,
      Yes it is sad, I do have one.
      Gonna have a blast, work my ass off and love every minute of it.
      Many thanks.

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      • ha. You’d LOVE it at the Burn she speaks!
        Two years ago is when my back officially went sideways. We have at least 5 large attractions at Spanky’s; The Teeter Totter of Death, the Centrifuge, Chairway to Heaven (towers 40 feet above the playa), the truly infamous Orgasmatron, the BASS (Big Ass Shade Structure) which covers our bar area and spans 100 feet across, the Groping Booth (hysterical to watch citizens play with this one) and this year two new toys. The point being… it’s back breaking work to set all of this up, tear it down, and as Bar Bitch (aka Bar Manager) hauling (and designating when lucky) at least 200 cases of beer and wine to the bar.
        What I thought was muscle pain in my back after that year’s Burn turned out to be a completely disintegrated disc, resulting in surgery. Long and continuing saga.

        So….. my ‘Boobie Bruises of Courage’ are nuthin’!

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    • hehehehehe -giggles-.
      It’s our infamous Spank O Matic. A pneumatic powered spanking machine. Think the record for a ‘client’ is 42 spanks. The thing packs a wallop lol.
      It’s also a ton of fun to be the operator.

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  1. Well, got to be honest, any show where you have to spank yourself is a bit disappointing, that’s what riding crops were invented for. Machines can’t tease you either (no not even a sybian).

    Still, looks better than pretty much any other show so I’ll have to fight Homeland Security (I’ve been naughty so I have to ask permission to enter the US) and get my ass there, or to whatever event it becomes next time in order to avoid the frat pack (I dislike students, they make my knuckles itch)

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    • Null an operator runs the machine. You can’t spank yourself as your hands are required to be on the handles in front – the damned thing could literally break your hand. And not to worry! We also feature a double sided bondage wall equipped with any necessary, ah, implements. Several just may be crops and floggers. Just sayin’, so I’ve heard.
      Now get to work on that permission slip. We need more folks like you; a connoisseur of outsider art, wine (as long as it’s really bad wine though), naughtiness and a damned fine sense of humor and especially the absurd πŸ™‚

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  2. YOU.
    F***IN.
    ROCK.

    When the end of the line comes for me, I will probably be upset I never made it to burning man back in the day.
    But now I can just photoshop my head onto your body, and people will be amazed at both my derring do and my perfect gender swap.

    and seriously, what the hell do you categorize as “nsfw”?

    *Eats own heart out. Twice*

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    • -takes a bow-
      EG: you just keep teasing us all with your two naked bar dance stories (so far!), so I just had to make sure you ate your heart out twice πŸ˜‰

      NSFW would constitute about half of my photos El Guapo. Including some shots -will post as NSFW- of the losers(or winners!) at our bar game
      Deviant Dice. For instance, if you roll an 8 (we use two dice) the rules state you must be a naked bartender for us, for 30 minutes. Or rolling a 3, on the ‘guy rules sheet’ as opposed to the ‘girls rule sheet’ (they’re basically the same) consists of climbing up on the bar and stirring your cocktail with your, uh cocktail.

      Oh you’ll make it one of these years. Burning Man may change, but more in a sense of evolving. As I predicted before it will probably be divided into several events.

      If there is going to be an East Coast Burn I’ll fly out to Burn with you, Mrs. El Guapo, she speaks, Red, Tony (in his crime fighting cape…and I’m thinking a leopard print ‘banana bag’ for panache) and the rest of the Mysterious East Bloggers Association.
      How about a dance off? Clothes on at my age -grin-

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      • Well, no driver does any drinking -or anything else suspect- in the 5 hour line (have waited as long as 8 hours) to get through the gates. And I also detest driving, but will do so for the Burn only. So… I volunteer!
        EVERY vehicle is searched. Not for illicit substances (heh thank god for a lot of Burners) but for anyone trying to sneak in without a ticket.
        Too funny.
        The local cops -on the drive in from the freeway- Not so funny.

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    • Yikes! you looked at the FB page hahahaha. Well Ahmnodt, have noticed over the years that there are some ‘friends’ (read: people added when I was playing a Zynga game at one point) who ‘reported’ several of my images; they were removed. Sadly, this is not where using my PhotoShop skills make me happy.

      Glad you enjoyed the pics though. You’re my kind of candidate!

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    • eeks. never considered that. have plenty of pics with my costumes fully ON.
      My calendar is empty of dinner dates for the next, mmm let me look, ah here we go…. several years.
      If I get up to Newfoundland I’ll take you up on it. If you and your fiancee make it to Nevada I’ll feel free to eat dinner here as well -grin-.

      Thanks for the comment, it cracked me up.

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  3. Yes you are certainly of the wicked kind my friend but guess what I like your style, though that spanking machine almost takes all the fun out of it… Well the screams are not as loud for one thing and the…

    Well we will have to see, being that you have another eight years worth of Burning Man to offer us here and with your wickedness it is surely going to be a pleasure calling back πŸ™‚ I do hope that those bruises vanished quickly…

    I can see from the photograph that the guy in the red feathered sombrero is eager to take a closer look, perhaps he was hoping the spanking machine would fail so that he could have a hands on experience for himself? πŸ™‚ Well you never know…

    Have a fine rest of weekend now Rachael πŸ™‚

    Androgoth XXx

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    • Just saw your response Andro! Apologies for the late reply.
      Well, we do have plenty of ‘hands on’ fun at the bar and our attractions. No need to feel left out or leave the screams of delightful deviant screams behind. To be a member of Spanky’s Wine Bar you have to learn to be a switch. Not that I know what that means of course.
      Read about it.
      Oh and the screams (of joy and surprise and…) from the Spank-O-Matic and Orgasmatron can be clearly heard down the Esplanade of the Playa. Bringing us yet more victims. Sorry. Customers.
      On a side note: first year the Orgasmatron was out in the open. Second year behind the bar. Third year we were required to build it inside a ‘shelter’ of it’s own. Then it was no longer allowed on the playa and had to be on ‘our side’ of the Esplanade.
      Fucking Burning Man Organization (we call it The BORG) wants everything on the Esplanade (main thoroughfare obviously) ‘family friendly’ as of 2011.
      WTF?
      Would you bring YOUR kids to the Burn? Idiots do. Have seen several infants out there in the past few years. Hell, a lot of adults wind up in the medical tent due to exposure, dust storms, dehydration, etc.

      Foolishly I promised the Demon Seed she could attend when she turned 18. She turned the legal age just in time for the Burn last year but her college class schedule precluded her from attending. This year she is going with us -face palm-

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      • I think that this adventure will be a most exciting
        one and as for the Orgasmatron it seems ridiculous
        to hide it out of sight, though not out of earshot I
        shouldn’t wonder πŸ˜‰ But bringing children along is
        certainly bizarre, but like you say there are always
        those extreme parents in the midst, just itching to
        do the wrong thing 😦

        Have a very nice rest of evening Black Raven πŸ™‚

        Androgoth XXx

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    • Andro you are so right! First year the Orgasmatron was on the playa there WAS no tent or hiding. The Burning Man Organization (or as we long-time Burners call them.. The BORG) have decided to be more ‘family friendly’ over the last fivet years.
      We run a great bar with a sexy fun vibe,
      I’m the bar bitch, er manager. No sex or even heavy petting at or around the bar, no creeps, No means NO, and I WILL and have, kicked out the creepers. We’re all about good sexy fun. And we have a few big-ass dudes in camp to ‘help’ me take care of the weirdos.

      There are camps/themes for everyone. Nothing derogatory,or scary at Spanky’s. Fun for all.
      Come out and join me Andro! Darkness and Goth bartending gear rock our world πŸ˜‰
      Oh, we have a new attraction this year….

      and yes, The BORG are making us place it in a tent/structure of it’s own.

      Dark and Dangerous Happiness My Friend…

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      • It all sounds ghoulishly exciting to me Black Raven, I am just leaving for the evening / morning so you have a wondrously delicious weekend and be as naughty as you like, I always am πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

        I will be back later to view your video and to have a good look around your Space πŸ™‚

        Androgoth XXx

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    • Thanks hun. Sorry for the delay, Ignored the emails for 3 days.. now at 400 unopened emails. Major Stressor.
      Gonna try to set up the new page )BM BURNING too), along with one on Fandalism tonight.
      Gotta warn you… Lots of blog posts being deleted tonight. Hate the idea of missing so many great blogs.. but only can deal with so many at a time.
      Sometimes you feel like a nut.
      Some days you can’t get out of the damned shell πŸ˜‰

      Like

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