Where the HELL have you been?

Dear John,
Oh hell. Wrong document.

Dear Readers,
yours truly has been busy out of town every weekend; drinking the kool-aid flavored arsenic water, digging up sagebrush, painting , burning her lily-white Irish-Hebraic skin and this weekend another ‘work party’ for Spanky’s Wine Bar.

spanky's wine bar work party

Christopher Robin, Sir Wheezy and Piano Wench (yeppers me)

Too exhausted to read anything over the past month, which by extension means too exhausted to write. Hell, my assignment yesterday (out at Skunkworks) was to ‘be funny.’

True story. Was given the task of writing a ‘Burma Shave’ type series of signs. If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about then get the hell off of my lawn ‘ya damned kids.

Okay I’m pretty fucking funny. Ask any of the ex-husbands.No wait, ask the damned attorneys who have the cash, Anyway, amusing on command? Takes actual work. Have to say I was one of the two people delegated work inside the house. As opposed to outside in the 105F+ heat (yes really) working construction, painting, the usual pre-Burn manual labor.

Mercifully Lucky Bastard, who had a graphic to create, and yours truly, were privy to cold tasty malty beverages. Next to the swamp cooler. The Ha Factor rose exponentially for both of us after the keg was opened. Wait. Of soda. Yes. Giant metal container full of soda.

HALF of the Teeter Totter of Death: Demon Seed, Piano Wench Sir Wheezy

Would pass along a few of my better sign posts but it’s top secret. If you didn’t get the Skunkworks reference then you’re already lost. Happen to be out at Burning Man you may notice them out and about though within a mile of Spanky’s.

What the hell was this person thinking?
You call this funny?
You may remember.
It’s the wench from YoYo-Dyne
Burma Shave.

(Trust me my camp ones ARE funny. Pinkie swear)

Burning Man spanky's work party

Prison shower: Mayor Joey behind bars and Brett painting him into a corner

That’s it for now, and probably for a while. Still looking for the perfect free piano to haul into the desert come August. A piano player gotta play…. Tired of just the marching band, even though I’ll be doing that too.  Making costumes, hanging out with my fab daughter when we can, and seeing my very best friends during the dirt/no shower/lack of water/work parties. Being funny on demand too goddamit.

Big news tomorrow! New back pain management doc. Needle stuck into a nerve at the base of my spine. No sedation. If it works, I’ll get one more after this THEN the sedation and he’ll burn off the nerve endings. Good Times!

Kids, it never fucking ends.
Best Wishes to all. Remember: Keep the razor blades sharpened and the Hefty bags stocked.

~Miss R

27 thoughts on “Where the HELL have you been?

  1. You had me at “Teeter Totter of Death” Rachael! Good luck with that Burma Shave / Skunk Works project, the piano playing in the desert, and that “needle stuck into a nerve at the base of my spine” thing (ouch!). I’m (fearfully) looking forward to the next installment. “Good times” indeed! 😀

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  2. BTW, Miss R., my dad was just in Nevada and it looks like the heat just about killed him. I thought he was gonna run around naked in the rain today. Sounds like a crazy place. Among his descent into sordid Vegas doings: bribed somebody to get into a nightclub, accidentally misled a hooker, and spent $5 on the slots. Is he a simpleton for reporting all of this?

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  3. Well finally you’ve surfaced. I haven’t a friggin clue what you are talking about but glad to see you back. Why do I have an image of you pulling a baby grand through the hot sandy desert with a beer in your hand to your abode?

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    • Hey Loon I don’t know what it all means either, being that I have lived a sheltered life but I bet there is something highly naughty just waiting to happen and Miss. R is right at the centre dishing out her slaps and aiming her Nunchucks in all the most delicate areas known to man 😦 lol I guess swinging has never been so popular? 😉 lmao

      Have a fun evening Miss. R and don’t be good 🙂

      Androgoth XXx

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  4. Ha!
    ‘Giant metal container full of soda’ – too funny.
    Nice to hear it wasn’t B.Y.O.S.
    Not so nice to hear about the needle, though… YIKES!
    Does not really sound like my idea of a good time.
    😦

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  5. Off to read the mad scientist, I mean, doctor visit post. Glad you surfaced again, chica. You have been missed. I would say “sorely”, but somehow I think it would end up on a Burning Man sign.
    Red.
    xxx

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