Why You No Call? The Children Miss You. I wanna slap you upside the head.

Said no one to me ever. I DO wanna slap you upside the head. You being the Royal You. Similar to the Royal We but spelled Oui. Now it time for a kick ass make-up of days offline. Laissez les bons temps rouler!
Note to Le Clown: This is New Orleans (Cajun) French so don’t be going and gagging at it. I beg your magnificent forgiveness for great times and awful grammar. Speaking only English, Russian and German (which is handy) just recognizing French is fab for moi. Another story for another day.

Changed my wireless/router name to ‘Stephen Hawking Is Locked In My Basement.’ I have no life.
Neither does Stephen….
I DO know how to party. Even without the booze I scare small children. My own is damaged for life. But she looks Mahhhhhvalous.
Please, won’t you help a starving disturbed family? Please send all of your cash to…. me. Information located at page bottom.

Have been so busy with work parties and the Demon Seed’s visit that there are 705 Unopened emails in my inbox. I see a mass delete coming.

Burning Man tickets came in the mail for both myself and my daughter.

an average playa dust storm

Many of you know what happened to my lovely girl demon seed last year. She is coming on back anyway. My sweetie told me ‘Mom, I am NOT going to let some deranged freak ruin what is one of the best weeks I’ve ever had.’ That’s my doll. Saw her last week.
Was supposed to visit her in San Francisco this week. Damned money, or rather lack of, is ass.

We’ve all (Spanky’s Wine Bar and Village) started the yearly mass work-parties up in the Nevada desert to do maintenance, rebuild and build new big kid toys for the camp. Think carnival rides for pervs AND kids. No really, THINK about it.
We have the Teeter Totter of Death, centrifuge (the merry-go-round you push and pull to get spinning) Chairway to Heaven, and two new rides this year.
Having the Orgasmatron for the 15th year on the playa is just icing. We’re not called Spanky’s based on the Little Rascals films.

Here’s a video of our Spank-O-Matic

Okay, just wanted to check in. Miss all of you, all of your writing, all of your smiles. I need ’em. Giving them out for free too.

Rock On Kids. Off to 4th of Juplaya in another week. Hidden Hot Springs on the playa, 1500 people instead of the 60,000 at Burning Man. Firearms, Frogbat… I’ll take a few pics. Spanky’s is making an official presence this year.
No one is in charge of this thing so no one is ever arrested. How cool is that?

Fuck I love summer.

Where the fuck have you been?

Missed you all! Missed seeing myself in print too. Okay maybe not. The self-centeredness that consumed me is long gone. When I sleep.
Your Trusty Reno Writer always puts far too much on her plate. Sometimes really great friends and life itself add extra servings.

You got yer bi-monthly trips to Fallon, NV to work up sweat, get covered in safety-red paint, destroy fingernails, avoid horseshit, flies, Dalmatians, lizards, brown recluse spiders and acres of lung-loving dust. It’s always laugh as hard as you toil too. This describes our Work-Parties prior to Burning Man and 4th of Juplaya. Add recovery from the back surgery, a soothing girls-only weekend to Calistoga and Napa Valley wine country, then a dash of parenting, typical familial tribulations and a few naughty bits. Not even close to enough naughty bits.
Life is busy! The body is mangled and the pain pills are being toned down; it’s healing. The heart is a boomerang, my Spanky’s Wine Bar (our infamous Burning Man theme camp) family loves me. Might be homeless by summer’s end. So much to worry about but so much more to grin about.
Life is also a wreck! Am one of the lucky ones to walk away with a smile after the crash though.

Work Party at Skunkworks

Christopher Robbin, Sir Wheezy and Piano Wench aka Miss R. Work-Party at Skunkworks in Fallon, Nv

Image

Demon Seed (my daughter) moi, Sir Wheezy. Working on the Teeter Totter of Death

4th Of Juplaya Pics

Image

This pilot has flown into Burning Man and 4th of Juplaya for years. This time he landed within 20 yards of our camp. FAB peeps.
Screw the FAA when it comes to the playa.

Image

4th of Juplaya
Playa

Image

It’s a Sloth!

Missed all of you talented writers. Have been reading your posts but no time for replies. Throwing off the shroud of sloth now.

Apologies. Missed all of you.

~Miss R

K is for Kinky

What else did you expect from me? Especially since I screwed you on F.

This is a collage of pics. Some home, some from my beloved Burning Man camp, some my fave classics. Enjoy.

Oh, if it doesn’t look kinky in the photo be assured it did lead to something K after the pic was taken…..

Also… these are SFW El Guapo

Here’s a tune by a favorite band of mine to listen to while browsing. What else but The New Pornographers

Bettie Page

One of my my fave Page photos. Own a Klaw original Polaroid of Miss Page.

Critical Tits 2008

Ah yes. Moi Riding in Critical Tits at Burning Man 2009

Another day at Spanky's Wine Bar

Just another minute at Spanky's Wine Bar

Bettie Page corset

More Bettie. Dear god you're a Helen Keller grad if you can't find the beauty in Bettie

Another fine Spanker at 4th of Juplaya

Am sure you were all hoping for some real kink. This is a family site. Despite  WP continuing to mark my site as ‘Mature.’

Honestly kids… have you ever seen me ever post anything but immature?

~Miss R

Returning to the Scene of the Crime

It was a very impromptu camping trip this past weekend.

No it wasn’t to an out of town, country or local  Burning Man DeCompression.

It’s Frogbat at 4th of Juplaya 2011

These are held in cities from San Fransisco, to Reno, to LA, to NYC, to Sydney, to London to Prague and hell I can’t even count them all. Burning Man encompasses all countries, religions, political ideologies, creeds, hippies (-shudder-) and attorneys (-shudder again-). Exception for the cool lawyer in our camp.

Speaking of which here is info for the official Reno DeCompressionReno Decom.

No, this weekend wasn’t 4th of Juplaya relived either.

Geographically  it WAS the Scene of …many crimes! All amusing, fabulous,weird, wondrous, occasionally illegal and normally accomplished in various states of undress…Black Rock Desert and Frog Pond.

Despite our unorganized arrival and gear I made it through this weekend at the Black Rock Desert playa and Frog Pond  unscathed. There was a small dust storm that rolled in as we did.  Nothing like a white-out at Burning Man. Just very windy and we got a bit of natural exfoliation.

Let me add that I knew nothing about our camping foray until the day before. Happened to look at my boyfriend’s FB and he had announced it, about 48 hours hours earlier. which would have been great if I made a daily habit of looking at his FB page. Which I don’t. -face palm-
The Frog Pond pools and hot spring are surrounded by trees and tiny dunes that keep it a bit sheltered from the playa dust and high winds. Although most of our gear is already playa-ized from previous Burns and playa excursions.
Sadly the wind was just gusty enough that on Sunday that we got hardly any shooting in. No dust, just screwed on any chance of hitting a designated target.

Saturday afternoon and evening we soaked in the springs and met a few other campers. Including Naked Bob; a Burner for 19 years where he has given back to the Burner community by working the exodus; 50,000 people leaving Black Rock City at pretty much the same time. Yikes.
He looks to be about 70 and was at Frog Pond for the solitude, stark beauty of the playa, and to pass along a few nuggets of wisdom if approached. Of course there was a family with 5 kids that were surprised -but not freaked- to see people in the springs au natural. They avoided us for the remainder of the weekend.

Despite the winds Steve cooked dinner and I made us cocktails. Sunday we walked back to the shooting range -about 1/4 mile- to where Frog Bat is blown up at 4th of Juplaya. Frog Bat is a 12 or 14 foot replica of a frog and bat (hard to believe given the name) filled with propane cylinders.
On Saturday night of the July 4th weekend, instead of watching The Man burn, everyone comes off the playa with their firearm of choice, then shoots the hell out of Frog Bat until it explodes. Possibly a reason this event is not sanctioned by Burning Man.

Lots of remnants of art cars over there in the shooting range and Frog Bat area.  There are also stray propane canisters totally shot up and a few not blown up (which Perry blowed-up real good). The small dunes of the shooting range emit a kind of cool, sad, ghost town eerie kind of vibe. Had my iPod on and between the music (Zero 7), weather and spooky/beautiful way this area looked I was fascinated. This is one of the two experiences that made the weekend worth the trip.

Frog Pond hot spring and campfire ring

Frog Pond hot spring and campfire ring. Enticing eh?

The other high point was floating on my back, in the hot springs, looking up at all the stars. After a great rib-eye steak cooked over an open campfire and several small plastic tumblers of a good single malt scotch. Or PBRs if you were Steve or Perry.
Tried to explain to Perry and Steve that camping does not mean living like an animal. Especially after I woke up in the back of Frank, short for Frankenstein, Perry’s truck.

Frank is made up of several different manufacturers’ body and engine parts. And looks like it. Frank has a new $25.00 camper shell now. By new I mean 20 years old and found via Craigslist sitting on the ground at a Red Rock ranch for 10 years. Embellished with dirt, dead bugs, cobwebs and rotting wood interior.  Hey, it was new to us. Should have known P hadn’t actually cleaned it out. Anyone have a shudder left in them? How about a gag reflex?

Springs were a wonder for my back! Cut back on the pain meds the first night.
Sadly the lack of suspension on the fucking truck (sorry Frank) on the way home -and being squished between Perry and Steve over the gear shift, huge hump where the gearbox is, a tachometer box and wiring that Perry installed and no AC- dialed my back pain to 11.

So I am re-hydrating, watching a movie on Netflix, smoking a ciggie, propped up on the bed and going between heating pad and cold packs (freezer burned but useful broccoli) for the back.
And ignoring the vile camping dishes, laundry and gear in the basement.

Interesting and relaxing weekend all in all. And no I won’t tell you where the springs are.
Unless you’ll loan me a clean trailer or RV.

~Miss R

4th of Juplaya, the Demon Seed, and yeah I’ve been absent

Yeah been a break here in the writing. Between having The Demon Seed here for 3 weeks (trip to SF to register for school and San Fransisco Pride Weekend -cool!) and our 4th of Juplaya foray it’s been nuts.

Your Truly smiling the day away

Your Truly smiling the day away

For The Demon Seed’s 18th Birthday I allowed her to attend 4th of Juplaya.
4th of Juplaya is a kinda of an  ‘underground’ Burner event. No tickets, no camps more than 50 people. Instead of 50,000 people at Burning man there are about 2000 people at the 4th of Juplaya.
Your next neighbor/camp may be 2 miles away. Not to mention no police, no police, fireworks (yes great mortars) a shooting range (yes firearms) and 3 springs.
We camped at Frog Pond, the hot pool. Another mile up the road is the cold pool. There’s another hot spring as well but it’s a bit ,uh, weedy.

Our camp, Spanky’s -yes the same as our famous Burning Man Camp- got permission to camp AT Frog Pond .And everyone on the playa eventually winds up there.

spanky's wine bar at 4th of Juplaya

Down time at Spanky’s

Got my ticket to Burning Man so more craziness to come. No. Really.

Still have pics to develop of Frog Pond, friends, and unusual acts of nature. Although…. no pics of the guy found one morning with the 13 inch cock handcuffed to the pond ladder; and passed out there all night. He finally woke up and was last seen beating feet(s) across the playa.

We decorated the pond with white Christmas  lights and had a campfire going every night as well.

Later Kiddies,

~Miss R

Frogbat at 4th of Juplaya

Frogbat 2011