A-Z for April: Two’fer Monday

I blame this interaction with humankind on Red from Momma’s Money Matters. She is the only high-heeled-wielding-wench evil enough to get yours truly to go forth amongst the the huddled masses with regularity. Retaliation shall be fierce and swift. Well maybe not swift, I have to vacuum the cat, comb the lawn and finish laundry.

April fools! No really it is the second….Shit. Gotta do it. Someone has to. That someone is me. which brings me to ‘A‘ which stands for asshole…. but also alcoholic.

So here are two two two posts in one. From A to B. To paraphrase Dorothy Parker, A to B runs the gamut of my lexical skills.

April 1st. “A

A is for Alcoholic:

My Alcoholic Friends by Dresden Dolls:

Which Brings us to April 2nd. B.”

Pretty close. My alcoholic friends play in Burning Band and attend Burning Man. Many are uber famous…but behind the scenes of our respective industries. Or in front. No one gives a shit what you do in the ‘real world’ in Burning Band. Can you play ‘In Heaven There is No Beer?’ How about ‘Down by the Riverside’? All in B flat? You’re in!

Burning Band Alcoholics

What you are not seeing in this picture is are the other 50+ members of the band and our –beer wagon-. We also have Burning Band Standard Bearers with the band’s name. Said Beer Wagon is decorated with our logo, private stash, extra reeds, banjo/guitar strings,drum sticks, kazoos, ice, rolling papers and is akin to a ‘tip jar’ on wheels. At Burning Man no money is allowed. It is a total gift /exchange economy. Tips are always fun and definitely unusual…and useful.

Being a Band member has never been so Bitchin’. Have video of Burning Band but hell if I know how to upload it. Any help is welcome. It’s a .wmv and on my FB.  Too long since I’ve done a website with video….that wasn’t Flash.

Oh, Here’s a small picture of the famous Little Black Dress Parade: Hosted by Spanky’s Wine Bar and led by Burning Band. Ah the days when we were one camp….Burning Band. Find the Piano Wench

Whew two days down. A shitload to go. I’ll get you Red…..

~Miss R

Atkins for Alkies: Part Deux

Dresden Dolls... MY Alcoholic Friends

Atkins for Alkies and
My Alcoholic Friends

So I just found out that my favorite snack was FULL of carbs. Sugar Free popsicles.
THOSE BASTARDS.
These were the generic type. The REAL Popsicle brand has more.

The ‘Atkins’ special ice cream bars –labeled exactly that way by Bryers- have 9 carbs.
Bad. Bad Carbs.
Do not allow a neurotic bi (polar) woman on a diet and expect anything but a strict and obsessive adherence to said regimen.

I’d say that this is the reason I haven’t been losing weight for 2 days. The popsicles. But it’s probably the thirteen grains of rice and 6 refried beans that I got at the Mexican restaurant Saturday.
Bastards wouldn’t just give me the meat and separate the carb portion on to my companion’s plate.

So just for YOU. My Alcoholic Friends. Is a way to absolve yourselves. And feel better about the 2 days you go without booze.
Wait 2 days? Didn’t I say three days in the first post?
Oh well.

Anyway for your perusal and enjoyment… carbs in your favorite Tasty Beverage. Cheers!

We’ll start with a Reno fave…

GIN:
Serving: a shot
Calories: 110
Carbs: 0

BEER:

Serving: A bottle
Calories: 150
Fat: 0
Carbs: 15 G (waaaah)

WINE:

Serving: 3.5 oz (WTF there are only 4 glasses in a bottle)
Calories: 70
Carbs: 2 G

RUM:

Serving: A shot
Calories: 100
Carbs: 0 (this is weird because it’s so sweet)

Seems the worst is beer. Sad because there are so many homemade and craft beers available these days.

So my fatty friends all I can tell you is to give up the seemingly great sugar free popsicles and take up alcoholism. Not only will you lose weight faster but hell, you won’t even remember not eating.
It’s okay. Thank me when you hit that AA meeting. In your Size 2 dress.

Look for tomorrow’s Blog:
‘How I quit smoking for 12 years, then started, and need to get off the F**king Commit Lozenges. Again’

~Miss R