You Wish You All Could Be California Girls

I killed a man in Reno just to see him die.

No, don’t worry. The Reno PD are slow to find bodies. Or their own squad cars. This has given me time to return to the state of my childhood and another ten years here after the golden age of music, idiocracy and debauchery: Living and working in NYC during the 80’s.

Left the wilds of Reno for the womb with a view in Gold Country. That’s right. I’ve moved in with my mother and step-dad. Arrived with the 24 foot moving van, electronics, musical instruments, 3 pieces of furniture, more books than you can shake a librarian at, more music than you could shake a piano at, Lizzie Borden the cat, and most importantly shovels, axes, Hefty bags, cinch ties and a valid passport.

Arrived Thursday night in northern California, nestled between Lake Tahoe and Sacramento. Mountains, forests, working gold mines hidden in the hills and pot farms. It’s nice to be home.

Been rolling rolling rolling the past two months.  Got the Cadillac of Walkers here. Four wheels. Count ’em FOUR. Still looking for an electric wheelchair to do my Bette Midler routine. Walk like Lurch. If Lurch were 5’2″ tall and a gal with an hourglass figure. My hourglass just has 20 minutes more than the dull standard item. Trying to get a handle on leaving friends behind, people who weren’t friends behind and people I had to duct tape to the furnace behind. Hold on, let me turn on the tunes and hit shuffle.

Wow! You Get What You Give.

Plan to sit outside in the sun later. Already seeing myself as FDR out in the yard. Hand me that blanket will ya? All I need is a war room to work on the current world domination plan. Or, I could paint a Risk board on the patio table. Will let you know. Having a freakish stretch of warm weather before the snow. Yeah I’m still close to Donner Pass. If I invite you for dinner be sure to bring your own utensils. Rolling around in salt and garlic before leaving your place would be a nice touch.

I’m trapped with the parental units until Spring.
Some Good Points:
Room and Board $300.00 a month
Save some money for the first time in 5 years. After time in Baltimore I’ll find a new place here in NoCal.
Plenty of time to work on strengthening exercises and PT
No longer forced to call the fire department to change my bib
Someone around to help me get up when I go crashing to the floor
Chance to meet new friends! Okay it’s the damned mailman but we’re taking baby steps
No distractions to keep me from writing and pondering
Some Bad Points:
Have to ask mommy to drive me to the store or meeting
House is on a hill so there is no escape. It’s literally all downhill from here
I can’t leave my room without an interrogation. I now expect a Spanish Inquisition.
Both of my parents are deaf as fuck. Everyone is shouting. All of the time. Note to Self: Holidays approaching. Purchase Hearing Aids. Learn ASL. Teach parents.
Am not improving and the looks of pity from the family are killing me.  I really do shake rattle and roll! Thank god I’m a piano player.
The man I loved left me. It’s a bitch to try and suddenly un-love someone.
Johns Hopkins is in fucking Baltimore. Not a winter get-away destination. Have to hold on until Spring.
No distractions to keep me from writing and pondering

never waste t ime

Got my cat, was allowed to keep one desktop and one laptop. Quote from mom “What the fuck?! You have too many electronics.”  Yes, I received the Executive Training in Expletives from Mom. “What the hell is that?!”  It’s my practice amp Mom. “For the love of Christ what is this?” It’s a Blue-Ray player mom. “You are NOT taking all of those computers into the house!” Okay Mom I’ll just leave my life’s work in computer coding, the graphics server and other two towers in the climate controlled storage unit. Ooops snuck in a second laptop. Hope she doesn’t find my stash. Of computers. Damn that’s just sad. I need to find weed just to really get that ‘home for semester break’ feel.

DEAR GOD MY MUSIC SERVER IS IN A STORAGE UNIT
But it’s okay mon, Everything is gonna be alright!

I get a do-over. Not many people are given that option. Sure it comes at a price but doesn’t everything. Plan on spending a month or two at Johns Hopkins this Spring. Going to be a guest at the world’s only clinic dedicated to Transverse Myelitis. Enroll in any and all of their clinical trials. Learn new ways to ambulate with their specialized PT program. I’m SO ready.

With caring, learning and self-love I’m going to not only walk unassisted again but kick some ass. Gonna dance under the moonlight on the playa. Spend lots of time strolling the streets of San Francisco with my daughter. Laugh with friends. Meet new people… and try not to kill them. Who knows what this coming ten-year cycle will bring.

It’s a new state of living. The state of California. Miss R home for the holidays. Swimming pools, movie stars.

Well now it’s time to say
Goodbye to Rach and all her kin,
They would like to thank
You folks for kindly droppin’ in.
You’re all invited back again to this locality
To have a heapin’ helpin’ of her hospitality
City Girl that is, sit a spell, take your shoes off.
Y’all come back now, y’hear?

~Miss R